So this is it. The last week of 2009. This year marked some key milestones in my life. January, I finally decided to bite the bullet and started my schooling again. This time I’m I decided to chase my dream of becoming a game programmer. February my life turned upside down – in a good way – with the addition of Kandice-Leilani, my beloved daughter. August I came to realize that the family financial situation wasn’t as well managed as I was constantly reassured it was. September I made the decision to join the Army to put myself in a position to be able to allow Mona options and to make sure my wife and daughter are taken care of.

The decision to enlist has also prompted a change in my chosen major – instead of game programming, I’m going to switch to network security. I’ve also become considerably more active though my weight would betray my newfound active lifestyle. I’ve become less interested in gaming overall – though that’s more because I’m trying to spend more time with my family. Family is something that I’ve never been quite used to – seeing as my childhood was one of an only child living with two parents who were wrapped up in their work … so, to accurately portray it – close familial relations is something new to me.

This year has been rife with successes and failures … though I can’t complain too much. Most of the “failures” I’m experiencing is because I didn’t listen to my moral compass and failed to find the backbone to stand up to my father. I still can’t … because I understand yet don’t understand what he’s going through all the same … and he’s unwilling to talk about it in any serious capacity. Because to do so would mean he’d be held accountable for his actions.

The successes, however, have come from this family thing that I’m not entirely used to. I’ve been spending more time with my father – albeit on weekends and sometimes on weeknights watching football and some of the shows he likes to watch (like NCIS). I’ve found that I’m a very lucky man with my wife, Mona … who, really, has taken to motherhood seriously. A bit more seriously than I’ve taken to fatherhood – though I’m trying. I’m thinking of take Mona and Kandie-Lei to the beach this week. And Kandie-Lei is such a good girl and always so happy when she isn’t tired or hungry. She has a sense of boldness that I envy … a type of boldness that comes from being both naive and wonderfully curious about everything.

This year has been marked with some major changes in my life … however, this only marks the beginning of those changes. This coming year I will be leaving the rock and living someplace else doing something entirely different than what I’m doing now. I will share my home with only my wife and daughter later next year. My life feels like it’s only now beginning, after 34 years of living under my parents’ shadow. Tomorrow is looking hopeful, even if I’m a bit anxious about all these changes.