In fifteen days I ship out to BCT.  This realization is a bit unsettling.  Despite my belief that I am doing the right thing, a certain anxious energy builds with each passing day.  It's all that I can do to avoid thinking about it by using simple diversions like World of Warcraft, helping my wife with her driver's test, and hoping the weather would clear up so we could go to the beach.  Anything would do, right now, so I can remove the focus on leaving behind my family for an extended period of time.  I want to stop considering the "what-ifs" and focus on "what-wills".  I want to constructively apply this anxious energy so that I do not turn around and use it to undermine my convictions – because I know that I am my own worst enemy right now.  And now that college is over, a constructive outlet is very much needed.  Guess I should make like Santa and make my lists to double check … twice.