I’m glad a friend forwarded this to me.

USED vs LOVED

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child’s hand and hit it many times not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times devastated by his own actions. Sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’. The next day that man committed suicide…

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life & remember this:

Things are to be used and people are to be loved. The problem in today’s world is that people are used while things are loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I’ve been busy working on some changes.  I’m trying out a new Download Manager for my mixes. I’ve also swapped my theme about and played a little bit with the widgets … nothing really major, but the changes do make some dramatic changes in the presentation of information.

So this is it. The last week of 2009. This year marked some key milestones in my life. January, I finally decided to bite the bullet and started my schooling again. This time I’m I decided to chase my dream of becoming a game programmer. February my life turned upside down – in a good way – with the addition of Kandice-Leilani, my beloved daughter. August I came to realize that the family financial situation wasn’t as well managed as I was constantly reassured it was. September I made the decision to join the Army to put myself in a position to be able to allow Mona options and to make sure my wife and daughter are taken care of.

The decision to enlist has also prompted a change in my chosen major – instead of game programming, I’m going to switch to network security. I’ve also become considerably more active though my weight would betray my newfound active lifestyle. I’ve become less interested in gaming overall – though that’s more because I’m trying to spend more time with my family. Family is something that I’ve never been quite used to – seeing as my childhood was one of an only child living with two parents who were wrapped up in their work … so, to accurately portray it – close familial relations is something new to me.

This year has been rife with successes and failures … though I can’t complain too much. Most of the “failures” I’m experiencing is because I didn’t listen to my moral compass and failed to find the backbone to stand up to my father. I still can’t … because I understand yet don’t understand what he’s going through all the same … and he’s unwilling to talk about it in any serious capacity. Because to do so would mean he’d be held accountable for his actions.

The successes, however, have come from this family thing that I’m not entirely used to. I’ve been spending more time with my father – albeit on weekends and sometimes on weeknights watching football and some of the shows he likes to watch (like NCIS). I’ve found that I’m a very lucky man with my wife, Mona … who, really, has taken to motherhood seriously. A bit more seriously than I’ve taken to fatherhood – though I’m trying. I’m thinking of take Mona and Kandie-Lei to the beach this week. And Kandie-Lei is such a good girl and always so happy when she isn’t tired or hungry. She has a sense of boldness that I envy … a type of boldness that comes from being both naive and wonderfully curious about everything.

This year has been marked with some major changes in my life … however, this only marks the beginning of those changes. This coming year I will be leaving the rock and living someplace else doing something entirely different than what I’m doing now. I will share my home with only my wife and daughter later next year. My life feels like it’s only now beginning, after 34 years of living under my parents’ shadow. Tomorrow is looking hopeful, even if I’m a bit anxious about all these changes.

The spirit of celebration has not touched our household this Christmas Eve. This house is silent, more silent than the year we lost mother. This year, we worry about keeping ourselves afloat. I’m waiting to ship off – even looking forward to it since it means that some money can start coming in … some of the family debts can be taken care of. And that’s really the crux of it. Debt looms over our household like a reaper, threatening to steal the life out of my mother’s legacy.

And I know this weighs heavily on my father, such that he’s been going to sleep drunker than the night before. He’s still not over the pain of losing my mother nor the humiliation of that parasite of a woman, Lorraine. I worry that his will to continue has buckled … and I’m clueless as to how to get him back on track. He needs to get back into church … as odd as that may sound, coming from me, but His Word did a world of good for my father. I just don’t want to see him hurt anymore.

Tomorrow Mona and I will be celebrating Christmas with her side of the family. I’m looking forward to it. I wish my pops would join us – if anything to get out of the funk with me, but he’ll be staying home and maybe visiting mom’s resting place. If I had any wish for this Christmas, it would be that all the uneasiness that seems to hang over our family be dispelled and replaced by an unwavering spirit of hope – that the brighter tomorrows become today.

You Are Carefree and Passionate

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless – and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You’re most comfortable when you’re far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are very charming… dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let’s hope you’re a benevolent dictator!

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

Source: http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

Building the smart home wirelessly.  This stuff is pretty frikken kewl.

I say “nearly” because I don’t want to feel utterly let down when Kaiser doesn’t perform as expected tomorrow.  I called Moanaloa Medical center earlier today to try to get some answers as to why it has taken nearly a month to get my medical to me.  Suffice to say, the manager told me to swing by their offices tomorrow so that I can grab my paperwork directly from the source.  All fees waived.  I’m starting to feel hopeful that things can start moving forward again.

I should be sleeping, however, I felt compelled to make this entry.  Again, another reedit as I had jotted down some notes about this night’s successful pick-up group 10 man run in The Trial of the Crusader.  The post was a bit wordy, so I decided to condense it down to the essence of I enjoy working in successful groups.  While the run wasn’t a smooth run, it was fun.  To balance out this positive remark, I’ll also admit that I hate it when I’m sleepy because I start thinking about being productive.  Then when I fall asleep and wake up a few hours later, that productivty seems to go AWOL.  I hate the Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde motif going on.

As a side, over the past couple weeks I’ve gotten my hands on Halo Wars and Fable II: Episode I.  Both really well built games.  Halo Wars actually makes me want to play FPS games.  The cinematic cut scenes in the game were done rather well, almost felt as though I were watching the first Final Fantasy CG movie.  I didn’t quite know what to expect from Fable II.  My friend had raved on and on about it, however, I didn’t really feel compelled to play the game.  Since Microsoft was offering a free download of the first episode, I figured I’d give it a whirl.  Going in with no expectations, I must say that I’m very impressed with the quality in the game world’s environment and the simplicity in the game controls.  The quest/mission mechanic is very similar to that of a game like World of Warcraft and the reputation system seems familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.  All in all, I wasn’t at all disappointed by these two titles.  If I had the cash, I’d pick these up right now. 

Any how … I’ve just been accosted by a couple brutish yawns.  I’m thinking that it’s finally time to hit the rack.

Every now and then I feel compelled to write down some of things that I would like to buy.  In doing so, I take a snapshot of where my head is at.  This passage originally listed a few things that centered around a touch sensitive phone of some sort, be it the Apple iPhone or the T-Mobile G1 w/ Google or even the Palm Pre Phone.  Basically, what I’m looking for is an electronic planner that is both portable and capable of syncing with my Google Calendar and Contacts.  I also tend to start thinking about these sorts of things as my birthday approaches.

However, after watching a bit of Saw III – my wife is currently having a Saw marathon in anticipation for Saw VI this Saturday – I was not so gently reminded that I now have a daughter. For the price of one of those interesting – but highly unnecessary – gadgets, I could easily pick up five (5) to forty (40) toys for her.  So I started thinking about what sort of toys to pick up for her.  I find it odd that as a parents, my wife and I want her to be interested in fairies – so the theme we have conceived for her room is fairies.  Unfortunately, fairy dolls and collectibles aren’t infant/toddler friendly.  In fact, they’re not at all friendly until about nine years from now.  By then, she’ll probably have developed a style of her own.  Nine years from now, I’ll be 43 … *sigh*

At any rate, I really should be getting on with my school work.